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Signs - The Cover Story
October 2013
 
 
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Sun, Aug. 4th, 2002 10:08 pm
Signs

Today Devan messaged me to tell me that she is quitting her job at Vector. I decided it would be appropriate to celebrate with a trip to the Sole and a movie. Adam came along, and we ate at the Sole at 1830. We had a waiter who impressed Devan very much. He brought Adam a fishbowl full of soda (which Adam finished). When I picked up the tab, I tipped him $20 on a $50 meal. We went to Showcase North afterwards and watched Signs, the new Mel Gibson flick. The movie was more disturbing than K19, which I saw Friday night. The tension was terrible, and even when predictable, it made me jump. I can only excuse myself writing this log entry now because I cannot sleep after watching it. As I sat in the theatre, watching this movie, I could not help but watch as Devan clinged to Adam. There is a great comfort that comes from having somebody look up to you. A feeling of strength that no other act engenders. By contrast, I found myself feeling very small and alone as my friends held each other for comfort. As I think about it, I realize that Andrea would never do such a thing. No matter how long I know her, she will never cling to me for strength, or look to me for nerves of steel. She has her own. These last few days, I've felt my life sliding about, not fully under my command. I've dreamt of Andrea the past few nights, and I dearly want to see her again. However, I find myself driven almost to tears when I think of the whatifs. I cannot forget that, as much as I might wish it not to be so, Andrea is not my girlfriend, and stands only a mediocre likelihood of becoming so. All my eggs are in that basket, and if I fail with her, I will have lost another year. I'm running out of time...

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