?

Log in

No account? Create an account
[PUBLIC] Intersomething Incident - The Cover Story
October 2013
 
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
 
 
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 08:10 am
[PUBLIC] Intersomething Incident

You know, I do believe today's xkcd is going to cause secondary drama explosions all over the world today.

Tags: , , ,
Current Location: Brewster, MA
Current Mood: amused amused

16CommentReplyShare

mikecap
mikecap
Mike Caprio
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 01:54 pm (UTC)

I think people need to give up on the "let's be friends" concept and just realize that sometimes it's better to just freaking let go already.


ReplyThread
bronzite
bronzite
Robert Bronzite
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)

I think its an important skill to master early in life (although this comic represents something of a failure mode of that skill.) Throughout your life you're going to meet people who you need to work with, and you find attractive (even mutually), but it is entirely inappropriate for you to have a relationship with. Learning how to have a non-romantic relationship with a person you're attracted to requires a certain level and type of self-discipline that is reasonably important to have before you start fending for yourself.


ReplyThread Parent
purly
purly
...
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)

I have been on the receiving end of unwanted relationship/fake friendship enough times (while in high school and college) to make me almost totally distrust all of my friends motives and wonder whether I am even good friend material at all or whether it was all just people manipulating me. After the first few "revelations" you start seeing the repeat everywhere and you get really wary of people in general.

Not surprisingly, my remaining friends now that I'm married are completely platonic. It's nice.

I agree with you that it's necessary for people to acquire the self-discipline/self-restraint that you are talking about. Eventually it doesn't matter anyhow.


ReplyThread Parent
mariaklob
That gorgeous vixen
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)

I have been on the receiving end of unwanted relationship/fake friendship enough times (while in high school and college) to make me almost totally distrust all of my friends motives and wonder whether I am even good friend material at all or whether it was all just people manipulating me.

Me, too.

Sad, sad strip.


ReplyThread Parent
mikecap
mikecap
Mike Caprio
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)

You also went to a college where male / female interaction bordered on pathologically dysfunctional, and where social pressures were very much out of balance. Women routinely walked around WPI with "clouds" of men orbiting them, all trying to be "friends" with them. Relationships formed there were totally framed by those circumstances, and the dynamics carried on between people in the same way even after they got out of school.


ReplyThread Parent
purly
purly
...
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)

I suspect this happens everywhere, not just in situations where the ratio is unbalanced. I had it happen to me in high school, where the female population was 60%.


ReplyThread Parent
juldea
juldea
-=juldea=-
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 02:57 pm (UTC)

"Let's be friends" and "letting go" are not mutually exclusive. I have had some experience in this in the past couple of months.


ReplyThread Parent
mikecap
mikecap
Mike Caprio
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 03:14 pm (UTC)

When it's the kind of LBF as portrayed in the comic, that's not really letting go. This is why I used quotes. There's real LBF and then there's "LBF" - where the first instance actually has relinquished all romantic notion (or never had one fully formed in the first place), and "LBF" which retains some "hope" or future romance or maintenance of a relationship in its exact current state in perpetuity.

Too many people (on both sides of the unrequited love equation) think they want LBF, but actually are asking for "LBF" where you hear things like: "Nothing will change! Things will remain just as they are, and it'll be fine, I promise! The only difference is that now we're 'just friends'." This is a patently ridiculous notion. The sequence portrayed in the comic is equally ridiculous.

Once a certain threshold has been crossed, there is no going back to LBF without completely letting go of the old relationship and swapping it out for a new and different one. Sometimes it's just a one sided thing where a person needs to get over themselves, but you almost always hear people saying things like: "Gee, once I told him/her we could never be more than friends, he/she totally changed towards me. I thought we'd just be friends just like we always were."


ReplyThread Parent
juldea
juldea
-=juldea=-
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)

The original comment I misread as you painting the entirety of "let's be friends" relationships, with the quotation marks simply connoting that it is often a direct quote. Not your apparent meaning of it as a ... fake version of those words. Miscommunication solved!


ReplyThread Parent
mikecap
mikecap
Mike Caprio
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)

LBF is just something that happens... the problems surrounding it arise when people approach the ending of a relationship naively, and try to keep things on life support or something. That's just not how things work, relationships grow and change and die just like everything else, and eventually people have to let go and let them end.


ReplyThread Parent
ultimatepsi
ultimatepsi
Kate Nineteen
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)

I've had three people on my friends page comment about that one already.

As I said to the first one, I hope I never do that to anyone. Also, thankfully, this guy's strategy fails if two people try it on the same person.


ReplyThread
bronzite
bronzite
Robert Bronzite
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 02:28 pm (UTC)

Also, thankfully, this guy's strategy fails if two people try it on the same person.

Clearly, there's a place for a game modeled on this social mechanic.


ReplyThread Parent
gizmo224
Francesco (a.k.a. Frank)
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)

Perhaps a future sequel in the Persona series? :P


ReplyThread Parent
ultimatepsi
ultimatepsi
Kate Nineteen
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)

I'm not writing it!


ReplyThread Parent
gizmo224
Francesco (a.k.a. Frank)
Fri, Dec. 5th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)

This was me sophomore year, I'm afraid. And a slight variant of it occurred recently. There were no false notions for some time, and then things happened to make it like that and it outwardly seemed like the girl in question wanted things to not change much. So I was trying to not let them. That didn't end well, since she must have been saying that to either not feel as bad or was simply naive, and I didn't see through that because I didn't want to. It has made me feel royally disgusted with myself.

Never again!


ReplyThread
jjlc
jjlc
jjlc
Sat, Dec. 6th, 2008 11:54 am (UTC)

Boy, am I glad I never had to deal with all that relationship stuff.


ReplyThread