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A Party For Moussa - The Cover Story
October 2013
 
 
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Thu, May. 30th, 2002 09:35 pm
A Party For Moussa

Uberstress at work, as always. Adam and I took a 70 minute lunch at Pub 99. That was fun. We talked about some of the more life-changing aspects of his relationship with Devan. After work, we picked up Miss Parker herself and went to Adam's for Jon Moussa's farewell party. I got dropped at the bakery to get the cake. Pete and Jessi and Tom were there. Irma was there, with her friend Russell. We played Volleyball, got pizza, and watched Doctor Strangelove. Lots of fun. On the ride home, I rode with Adam and Devan. I was largely a non-entity in the back seat of Adam's car. From Stafford to my disembarkation, I didn't really speak. I just kind of leaned back. Such is the way with Adam and Devan. They talk and talk and talk. I find myself curiously experiencing the twin pangs of jealousy for the girl I couldn't get, and the friend who ignores me in her presence. Such a dilemma. I dearly care for Adam, and I try to care for Devan, but now that I have escaped her pull, I desperately fear being pulled back in, especially now that she has Adam. Of course, hanging about with Adam does me no good. He speaks of how wonderful she is, how open, how forward, etc, etc. Each passing turn of phrase is another stab, but I smile and force myself to be happy for him, when I silently wish for what he has. I hate myself for it, but the pain is great, to know that nobody in this world cares for me the way Devan cares for Adam. It is a very lonely feeling. These are definitely the darker days of my life. Perhaps I can find hope ahead, for none lies behind.

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