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The Last GA of 2001-2002 - The Cover Story
October 2013
 
 
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Tue, Apr. 9th, 2002 10:42 pm
The Last GA of 2001-2002

Well, the GA was the big thing today. It was a beautiful day, so nice I got to wear a t-shirt out and about. Will wonders never cease? I saw Andrea in a rare morning appearance in line for free ice cream from the Magic Bus at Quadfest. Very cool. However, I had a few digestive problems from something that I ate, so I was rather unhappy for part of the day (I actually had to step out of African History for a bit). I had my Polemos meeting with Ryan, then went to the GA, where I had stuff thrown at me for making puns, and got to present Nic with his GBA. Very cool stuff. After the GA I ran into Andrea in the Campus Center. She chatted with me, and then left with some CBF guys. I have to admit, I get to feel jealous at times, but such is life.

As I walked home tonight, I reflected on how my relative success, or at least lack of failure, with Andrea is a major contributing factor to my staying relatively sane these last few weeks. Having somebody who loves puns is a wonderful thing. Perhaps she'll find herself a nice CBF guy to pay attention to her, and she won't need me anymore, and I'll have to start again from zero. That would not be good. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not trying hard enough, if I should be applying more pressure than I have. I'm just so desperately afraid of losing the relationship I've been building for over six months now. I made that mistake with Devan, and the fallout nearly destroyed me (and may yet, if Adam's affairs take a sour turn). To have that happen twice... I don't even want to think about it. Its easy to fall into the abyss of thinking one is forever lost when rejection comes around, especially when I spend so much time building only to be shutdown and left to hang. Sometimes, in my darkest hours, I wonder if my focus on Andrea of late was the only thing that pulled me out of range of the Parker Effect. I shudder to think that losing Andrea could send me plunging back into the void that I occupied for so long. Everybody needs affection, and will seek it when its absent, just as surely as they will seek food and water when they are scarce. Who knows what will happen.

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